May 8

May 8 Albert, Takapuna

I’d actually just come out to them as bi, so every day in lockdown has pretty much been them learning how to come to terms with my sexuality.

My name is Albert Cho, I’m 23 years old – I just turned 23, I actually had my birthday in lockdown which was fucking depressing, I live in Takapuna and I don’t really know what I am … I was a writer for a magazine but now I’m, as cringe as it is, like a full time Instagrammer.

Am I finding it hard to be creative? Dude, yes. I never want to pick up another skillet again. I even made my own birthday cake, it was so tragic. Everyone was so uptight about the rules, they were like, ‘Ooo, I would send you something but the world is so hectic right now so like, happy fucking birthday!’

Before this, for Eat Lit Food, I’d go to restaurants and all I had to do was write something funny – now, I have to think about what I’m going to make every single day and I’m always stumped for ideas. Then, when I do come up with something I have to actually make it, which is stressful cos if it’s bad I can’t post it. When I reviewed restaurants, it didn’t matter if they fucked up cos it still made funny content for me. Now, if I do it, I look like an idiot. I guess this is my chance to prove to people I can actually cook though.

I also had a full-time job at Denizen which I loved cos it was something stable. It brought me a lot of comfort, having that routine. I’d never go straight home after work, I’d meet friends somewhere or if it was a weekend I’d always have a bender. I miss that. Benders kept me skinny. I’ve always done 20,000 steps a day, at least I’ve managed to maintain that in lockdown. I mean, there’s literally nothing else to do. But apart from that, every nomination I get for a workout I’m like, ‘Darling, that ain’t happening.’

I was living in a flat in Herne Bay, but … well, it was very Herne Bay of us, whenever there’s any kind of crisis we run back to our families. Everyone in the flat went home, so I did too. I was like, ‘No, no, no, you have no choice, I’m your only son, I don’t know how to pay a bill yet …’ I forced my parents to take me in. It was awkward though, I’d actually just come out to them as bi, so every day in lockdown has pretty much been them learning how to come to terms with my sexuality. It’s a bit weird. I’m kind of pushing who I am as a human being down their throats.

It went in stages. The first week we barely talked, the second week we started doing like, small talk and warming up to each other, then the third week was when they realised the only difference is who I choose to hook up with. Like, I haven’t actually changed as a human being. Now, we’re pretty all good. I think if this had happened before I came out we would’ve had a way more fun time. It’s still quite rigid. But, I mean, we’re getting along which is a huge step. Before lockdown, they didn’t talk to me for over a month straight.

I’ve actually been saying to myself, ‘Fucking bless Rona’, cos she has helped me out a bit. Forced me and my parents to reconnect. And with my Denizen job, I’d been planning on leaving for at least six months, I just needed that final push … and then the final push came to me. Thanks to Rona I was made redundant, and now I get to do my own thing which is really cool. And the whole me not being able to party, yeah it sucks, but I made the decision to not drink any alcohol for the whole lockdown. I needed it. I think I did have problems before … so this has really been like a rehab for me.

What’s keeping me happy? Fuck. To be honest, are we happy? I guess … I’m a real extroverted person, but it reached a point last year where I was completely dependent on people. I wasn’t really dealing with alone time very well, so it’s been kind of nice to take a break from people, from always putting on that front and trying to be the centre of attention in every social situation. Nice to go back to being on my own. So, in that sense, I’m happy. I’m actually getting happier every day as I get more and more comfortable being by myself.

Nothing crazy has happened to me in lockdown, but it’s pretty funny, I’m still getting people recognising me and wanting photos when I’m out walking, so we’re posing for photos – thumbs up, standing fucking miles away from each other (laughs). Oh, and I’m getting and sending a lot of nudes. Actually, one thing that’s happened, not a personal thing, a friend of mine – her uncle passed away from Covid in China. Over there, there aren’t any lockdown laws anymore, and the nephew was being careless and going out and partying, and he brought the virus home and it killed his Dad. That gave me a bit of perspective like, even when the lockdown laws have gone the whole social distancing thing is still really important.

What am I finding hard? I mean, living with your parents is – bisexual, straight, gay, whatever – it’s hard. It’s a lot aye. I’m kind of struggling with it, but then again, if I was with my friends I wouldn’t have the privilege of being able to be openly frustrated with them like I can be with family. And working from home is fucking cute aye, like what do you mean I’m meant to do a whole marketing campaign for a place I’ve never been into? I need other people’s ideas to bounce off, I can’t think of everything myself, like I’m not Albert Einstein.

My whole job revolves around food and hospitality and I feel like it’s going to become a really different industry. In a way I’m like, that’s kind of great. I was on my way to becoming really irrelevant in a year, cos all I did was go to restaurants and swear. Now, I can actually enter this new industry and offer something a little bit different. I feel excited about my work now. Everything will be new again.

Worst thing to run out of? I’d say kimchi and flour. Kimchi, if you put it in any broth, even just boiling water, it’ll make it like ten times better, and flour is like, literally, it’s fucking gold to me right now. I don’t know what it is but my followers go crazy for baked goods. When I see flour at the supermarket, even if I have it at home … look, the reason there’s no flour anywhere is because I’m panic buying all of it. It actually is though. But honestly, what is Edmonds doing?

There was this one time when I wasn’t planning on panic buying, I was just going in to buy some extra moisturiser, but everyone else was panic buying so I was like, well fuck, and I started buying things too. I bought a shit load of Dolmio … is that what it’s called? The weird creamy and tomato sauce mixed together. I bought six jars and haven’t touched any. I don’t know what I was thinking.

What do I miss most? I miss being at Celeste, at Cocos Cantina, I miss being out there, being noticed … and yeah, as wanky as it sounds, I just miss being seen. I fucking miss it.